Church instructions and positions instructions for Weddings, Baptism, Funerals, Memorials, and Divorce

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ:

There seems to be confusion or misunderstandings as to the position of our Holy Church on weddings, baptisms, funerals, memorials, and divorces. Below you will find the position of our Greek Orthodox Church. Please keep this information somewhere in your files so that you will always be able to refer to it if necessary. If there are any questions, please feel free to contact me.
In Christ’s service,

Weddings

For the complete union of a man and woman to be proper in the eyes of the Church, an ecclesiastical marriage to be valid, the following are the requisites:

1. No impediment to marriage
2. A matrimonial marriage License from civil authorities.
3. A religious marriage license of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese or Metropolis.
4. The religious marriage ceremony shall be performed by a priest of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese and in accordance with the Dogma and rules of the Greek Orthodox Church.
5. The Greek Orthodox Church cannot consider valid a marriage performed by a heretical or excommunicant priest, or by one who poses as a priest and is not.
6. No priest is allowed to perform a marriage rite without the authorization of the Metropolis Bishop.
7. Before requesting permission from the Archdiocese or Metropolis to perform a marriage, the priest must have verified:
   A) That the parties in question are not married in this country or elsewhere.
   B) If they are from another parish, they should have a certificate from the parish to which they belong.
   C) If one is either a widow or widower, he or she should have the death certificate of the spouse.
   D) If either of the parties or both have been previously married and divorced a second or third time, whether that second or third marriage was regular or recognized by the Church, they must present the necessary certification of the same.
8. A fourth marriage is not allowed by the Church Authorities.
9. A marriage cannot be blessed by the Church when either or both parties only have a civil divorce from a previous Greek Orthodox marriage. An ecclesiastical divorce is necessary.
10. A marriage between an Orthodox and a non-Orthodox Christian is called mixed. Such marriages must be performedin accordance with the doctrines and regulations of the Greek Orthodox Church.
11. A marriage cannot be performed between an Orthodox Christian and a non-Christian unless the latter expresses the desire, voluntarily and without coercion, to be baptized in the Church.
12. The marriage ceremony is performed in the Church and the parish of the bride. However, the groom petitions for the marriage license of the Archdiocese from the priest of the bride’s parish.
13. Even if the groom is not a member of the bride’s parish, nevertheless, he must apply there for the license and must show evidence that he is in good standing with his own parish.
14. When for one reason or another the wedding must be performed in the parish of the groom, he still must get the Archdiocesan license for the parish priest of the bride. The latter priest endorses the license and transmits it to the parish priest of the groom.
15. The Best Man (Koumbaro) also must be in good standing with the Greek Orthodox Church. One who does not belong to a parish, who is heretical or excommunicated from the Greek Orthodox Church, or cohabitates without having had an ecclesiastical marriage, cannot act as Koumbaro. A non-Orthodox best man can serve as a witness but not as an active participant.

Days When Marriage Is Not Permitted

December 13th to Christmas; the night before Epiphany, Epiphany Day; August 1-15; lent, Christmas, Easter and all Holy Days of our Lord. During the Forty-Day Great Lent period and Holy Week; September 14, January 5, and August 29, and the day before Feast Days. A ceremony may be performed on these days, only when extremely necessary, and by special dispensation of the Metropolis Bishop.

Mix Marriages

It is a fact that the more things in common a couple holds,thegreater the chance they shall live in peace and harmony, undoubtedly, shared faith and traditions spare newlyweds and their children many serious problems and strengthens the bonds between them.
However, the Greek Orthodox Church blesses mixed marriages under the following conditions:

1. The non-Orthodox partner must be baptized in the name of the Holy Trinity.
2. The bride and groom should be willing to baptize their children in the Orthodox Church and nurture them in accordance with the Greek Orthodox tradition.

If these conditions are not fulfilled, then the Orthodox Church shall not solemnize the wedding. In such a case, it is possible to have the wedding take place in a church of another creed or simply at the desk of the justice of the peace. The Greek Orthodox partner, however, should then bear in mind that a married Greek Orthodox Christian, whose wedding has not been blessed by the Orthodox Church ceases to be a member of the Church and consequently does not have the right to receive Holy Communion, become a Koumbaro at a Greek Orthodox wedding or sponsor a child in baptism. Anon-Orthodox Christian who marries an Orthodox Christian in the Orthodox Church, does not gain the right to become a member of the Church, to receive Holy Communion, and after death a Church burial. Holy Communion and the Church burial are privileges of the baptized or confirmed members of the Orthodox Church.

Prohibited Marriages

First Group: Parents with their Children, their own Grandchildren, their own Great Grand-children.
Second Group: Brothers-in-law with sisters-in-law.
Third Group: Uncles and Aunts with Nieces and Nephews.
Fourth Group: First Cousins
Fifth Group: Foster Parents with Foster Children. Foster Children with Children of Foster Parents.
Sixth Group: Godfather and Godchild. God Father and Mother of Godchild or vice-versa. Godmother and Godson, etc.

Divorces

An ecclesiastical divorce mat be granted after a civil decree has been given. However, the parish priest must exert every effort to reconcile the couple and avert a divorce. Should the priest fail to bring about reconciliation, he will transmit the petition of the party seeking the ecclesiastical divorce to the Spiritual (Ecclesiastical) Court of the Diocese. The decree of the civil divorce must accompany this petition. The petition must includethe names and surnames of the husband and wife, their addresses, the paternal surname of the bride, and by what priest, where and when the ecclesiastical wedding was performed. The petitioner must be in good standing with his or her parish and with the Archdiocese.

Baptisms

A person who is not a member of a parish or is anathematized or excommunicated from the Greek Orthodox Church, or wed without an Orthodox Ecclesiastical ceremony, or is not in good standing with the Archdiocese cannot become a godfather or godmother. During the twelve-day period from December 25 to January 6, no baptismal ceremony may be performed. Neither will a baptismal ceremony be performed during the Great Week or the major holidays (Christmas, Easter, Pentecost) unless there is an absolute necessity and unless permission for the performance of the baptism from the Metropolitan Bishop is obtained.

Funeral Service

Funeral services are allowed any day of the year except during Holy Week, although it is suggested that none be held on a Sunday.

Memorials

Memorial services cannot be held from the Saturday of Lazarus until the Sunday of Thomas, inclusive; Memorial services cannot be held on the Holidays of Christmas, Epiphany, Pentecost, all Holy Days of our Lord – DespotikaiEortai, and the Koimisis of the Theotokos on August 15.

Circumcision

It is known that circumcision is imposed on the Jews and Muslims because of religious reasons. Doctors deem circumcision necessary for reasons of health and cleanliness. The Orthodox Church does not prohibit circumcision so long as it is not done for religious reasons.

Suicide

As no one is permitted to take the life of another, likewise no one is permitted to take his or her own life, that is to commit suicide. Suicide is murder and consequently a grave sin.

Committing suicide signifies the loss of patience, hope, and faith in God. A man of faith, no matter how great the difficulties, does not lose hope. The Orthodox characterizes as faithless the person who commits suicide and denies that person a Church funeral.
Only when a doctor certifies that the person had lost his sanity, does our Church permit a Church burial.

Autopsy

When the causes of illness and death have not been diagnosed before a person’s death, the doctors with the permission of the next of kin, perform an autopsy. Often an autopsy leads to enlightening observations and enrichment of medical science. Because of this,the Orthodox Church does not prohibit the autopsy of the dead.

The Cremation of the Dead

Various Christian groups, instead of burial, prefer the cremation of the dead, which was customary among many ancient peoples. The Orthodox Church, inspired by the affection toward her departed children, adopted the burial of the dead, as it appears in the Catacombs, and in general the graves of the Martyrs and Saints.

Cremation, therefore, is contrary to the tradition of our Church and is forbidden to Greek Orthodox Christians. A church burial is also forbidden to those who intend to be to cremated after an Orthodox Funeral Service.